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Missing - Things Unseen

27/10/2013

12 Comments

 
I have not previously made any comment relating to religion or faith, although I have been asked questions about it by a number of interviewers.  I do so here, not to attempt to convert anyone, but rather to add understanding about the background in which Andrew grew up and to convey something of my own journey of faith since his disappearance.  I hope readers find it interesting and perhaps those who are of faith will find something helpful relating to my thoughts about suffering, particularly mental suffering.

Andrew grew up in our church family.  We attend a very relaxed and friendly Anglican church and have always been heavily involved with it.  He went through Sunday school, helped me from a very young age in the church grounds and I know he was surrounded by love and care in that environment.  His disappearance has affected the whole church, a family which is perhaps much larger than he ever realised.  I was a Reader, training for that role when Andrew was young, as can be seen from this photo at my licensing in Sheffield Cathedral.

Picture
It is no secret that following his disappearance the Police investigation was "flawed" and that this led me to attempt suicide feeling that to be out of the way would increase the chances of Andrew being located.  I was miraculously rescued by our Vicar and dear friend Alan Murray.  The subsequent depression, anxiety, nightmares and so forth are things I can barely find words to describe. I still have difficulty now, 6 years on.

So why have I not lost my faith?  There are three main reasons:

1.  Jesus - an innocent man who was nailed to a cross 2000 years ago in order to stand in our place for the wrongs we have done and the rights we have failed to do.  He knew what it was to feel intense ongoing pain, to feel separate from and abandoned by God, to take the blame despite no wrongdoing.  This helps me greatly as I know that I have a Saviour who understands what we are going through instead of a distant and remote God.  We know too that Jesus rose from the dead and this gives hope that whether in this life or the next, I too will feel and know resurrection.

2. God the Father - a Dad on whom the world turns it back, but who never stops searching for us to come back to him and who never stops waiting for us with arms open wide. The pain of that searching and waiting is something with which I identify strongly - and like Him, should my son ever return to us, my arms will be open wide.

3. My church family - who have constantly supported us and prayed for us since Andrew went missing. They met for prayer the Wednesday after Andrew went missing and continue to meet now. Such loving, faithful, persevering support is beyond price.

I am describing this now as I have done an interview, exploring this a little more deeply.

It can be listened to here: http://www.thingsunseen.co.uk/life-of-the-spirit/missing/

I hope that you find something of hope in there. Life is not fair, the Bible makes this very clear throughout its pages, but we do have a God who is in all the pain and suffering with us, who understands our hurts and my hope is that if you have suffered in your own life, knowing this will bring both some hope and assurance for you. God bless you for reading and listening,
                                                  Kevin


12 Comments
Ann K.
27/10/2013 02:53:29 pm

Hey Kevin
I found the above very moving and full of love for Andrew..I was so saddened to learn that you had attempted suicide, you must have been at you lowest ebb to contemplate that........it was not meant to be in my opinion. You are meant to keep up the search for your beloved son, a search so full of determination, love and belief. Andrew very obviously comes from a loving and happy family and I pray with all that I am that you are reunited with him one day soon. Your determination, integrity and strength astounds me........please keep on searching, you will find him <3

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alastair halliday
28/10/2013 11:57:13 am

Hi Kevin, I am absolutely devastated for you & your lovely family. Please stay strong, You never know what the future brings & I hope that can carry you through the days. Thinking of you every single day, I recently lost a friend to suicide & it was heart breaking. I know full well you wouldn't want to hurt your family & rather be there for them rather than without. Stay strong my friend, You are in my prayers all the time. You may not know me but I am always here if you ever want a talk & Im hopeful Andrew will one day return home.

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Fiona Gibson
29/10/2013 04:19:41 pm

I've just listened to this interview and it is the most moving and touching interview I have ever listened to. It has left me in tears. Kevin, it must have taken a great deal of courage. I think and pray for you, Glennys and Charlotte so often. I repeatedly talk about Andrew in the hope that someone, somewhere will know what has happened to him.Never give up - stay strong xxx

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Tiffany
2/11/2013 03:01:03 pm

As a Parent; I just cannot begin to even try and understand the pain you feel. I suffer with anxiety/panic and depression and I cannot imagine trying to cope with all of this alongside it all. I just hope you get answers, some kind of closure, anything to stop the 'wondering'. I should imagine it's the wondering thats the most painful.

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Tanya Marlow link
9/11/2013 11:58:32 am

I read your story in a mixture of horror and deep sympathy. I can understand that you would have contemplated suicide, because horrific situations can lead us to thinking horrific things and desperate, illogical measures. I am thankful that you didn't, and you had the courage to continue in what must feel like a very, very long limbo. Your quiet dignity comes through in this post. I have taken a while to read through the site. I shall be sitting in silence with you on Remembrance Sunday, as you no doubt will be thinking of Andrew. With love and prayers.

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Desmond. link
6/1/2014 03:46:05 am

Dear Kevin and family,
Being new to the internet I have only recently read of your great sadness. There is little I can really say as much has already been said. I am always touched and saddened when I hear of peoples tragedies, but I was particularly moved to reply to you due to my connection with St. James, where I was confirmed on 2nd April, 1944 and spent approximately four very happy years connnected and closely involved with the Church. Although it's a long time ago St. James has always held extra special memories for me and still does and where I was grounded in the faith. I can assure you my thoughts and prayers will continue to be with you all. God Bless.

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Kevin Gosden link
5/6/2014 04:18:22 pm

Dear Desmond, thank you for your kind comments and prayers posted on my blog. How lovely to connect with someone previously at St.James'. If you are ever in the area, do get in touch (via our website if necessary, it comes to me anyway) and arrange a visit - much has been done recently to change the interior and you would, I think, be interested. Alternatively, there are photos on the website. God bless, Kevin

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Mark Dowd
4/6/2014 07:29:57 am

I was the person who was lucky enough to meet Kevin and hear his story in this radio interview. I suppose I am an "old hack" in that I have been on the reporting beat since the 1980s, but I count this meeting with Kevin as one of the most extraordinary moments......it's a doddle to say you "believe" when all is well and life seems fair and just, but to hold on to the Cross as Kevin has done is nothing short of remarkable......I have told Kevin that I feel "humbled" by this encounter and this is precisely the right word.

God give him strength and reward him for his amazing witness.

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Daniel
22/7/2014 09:06:25 pm

Hi, I don't know if you know about Websleuths but there is a thread for Andrew on the site:

http://www.websleuths.com/forums/showthread.php?140596-UK-Andrew-Gosden-14-Doncaster-South-Yorkshire-14-Sept-2007/page2

Last year someone ("shadowdancer") posted that a friend of theirs believed they saw Andrew the year before at King's Cross - the two posts are in the last 1/4 of page two. I hope someone has already let you know about these posts already and that the CCTV footage was actually looked through. Encase no one has I thought I'd make a comment here; I really hope they or someone else contacted you about this.

-

Daniel, New Zealand

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Kevin Gosden
31/7/2014 03:45:00 pm

Thank you Daniel, I do not recall seeing the websleuths site before now, but I am very impressed with the down to earth and logical thinking and discussion now I have read through a number of the posts about Andrew, many of those thoughts very much echo our own...
We did not know about the possible sighting you mention - Missing People pass that information to the Police and it is rare that we receive it until long after the event (ie when any CCTV would be long gone), if at all. They tend to reason that they do not want to put us through further emotional turmoil. This has logic to it, but unfortunately we are the sort of people who would rather know in any event. We are also realistic enough to have a good idea of what can reasonably be followed up and what sort of information is not, but it can be hard to persuade the authorities of this.
So the sighting you mention, which sounds to be worth following up because of the ear feature, probably was, but came to nothing and we never knew a thing about it.
I noticed on the thread that people have queried why the ear feature was not publicised earlier and the answer to this is that the police asked us not to on the basis that if Andrew was found it would form an unpublicised piece of information that they could ask a member of the public to look for. Again, in the early stages, this seemed logical, but it is easy to look back and think it was an error in judgment - unfortunately, one can often see these things in retrospect and in the light of subsequent events - none of us initially thought for a second we would still not have found Andrew after so long.
So, hope that information helps and thanks again for your interest and help there, Kevin

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Admininstrator
20/9/2014 10:40:32 am

Just wanted to reassure Shelley Maddiso that her information has been received and been passed on. Thank you for taking the time to send on this info Shelley.

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Kit
22/6/2015 07:24:35 am

Just a well wisher - I remember seeing Andrew on the news when he went missing. He was a year older than me and I've never quite shaken him. I've just turned 21. Very poignant to see this pic as I live in Sheffield and pass the cathedral daily. I think of Andrew and you all as a family quite often although we're strangers, all my love to you and hope that you'll all be reunited soon xxx

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    Kevin Gosden,
    Andrew's dad.

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