I have not previously made any comment relating to religion or faith, although I have been asked questions about it by a number of interviewers. I do so here, not to attempt to convert anyone, but rather to add understanding about the background in which Andrew grew up and to convey something of my own journey of faith since his disappearance. I hope readers find it interesting and perhaps those who are of faith will find something helpful relating to my thoughts about suffering, particularly mental suffering.
Andrew grew up in our church family. We attend a very relaxed and friendly Anglican church and have always been heavily involved with it. He went through Sunday school, helped me from a very young age in the church grounds and I know he was surrounded by love and care in that environment. His disappearance has affected the whole church, a family which is perhaps much larger than he ever realised. I was a Reader, training for that role when Andrew was young, as can be seen from this photo at my licensing in Sheffield Cathedral.
Andrew grew up in our church family. We attend a very relaxed and friendly Anglican church and have always been heavily involved with it. He went through Sunday school, helped me from a very young age in the church grounds and I know he was surrounded by love and care in that environment. His disappearance has affected the whole church, a family which is perhaps much larger than he ever realised. I was a Reader, training for that role when Andrew was young, as can be seen from this photo at my licensing in Sheffield Cathedral.
It is no secret that following his disappearance the Police investigation was "flawed" and that this led me to attempt suicide feeling that to be out of the way would increase the chances of Andrew being located. I was miraculously rescued by our Vicar and dear friend Alan Murray. The subsequent depression, anxiety, nightmares and so forth are things I can barely find words to describe. I still have difficulty now, 6 years on.
So why have I not lost my faith? There are three main reasons:
1. Jesus - an innocent man who was nailed to a cross 2000 years ago in order to stand in our place for the wrongs we have done and the rights we have failed to do. He knew what it was to feel intense ongoing pain, to feel separate from and abandoned by God, to take the blame despite no wrongdoing. This helps me greatly as I know that I have a Saviour who understands what we are going through instead of a distant and remote God. We know too that Jesus rose from the dead and this gives hope that whether in this life or the next, I too will feel and know resurrection.
2. God the Father - a Dad on whom the world turns it back, but who never stops searching for us to come back to him and who never stops waiting for us with arms open wide. The pain of that searching and waiting is something with which I identify strongly - and like Him, should my son ever return to us, my arms will be open wide.
3. My church family - who have constantly supported us and prayed for us since Andrew went missing. They met for prayer the Wednesday after Andrew went missing and continue to meet now. Such loving, faithful, persevering support is beyond price.
I am describing this now as I have done an interview, exploring this a little more deeply.
It can be listened to here: http://www.thingsunseen.co.uk/life-of-the-spirit/missing/
I hope that you find something of hope in there. Life is not fair, the Bible makes this very clear throughout its pages, but we do have a God who is in all the pain and suffering with us, who understands our hurts and my hope is that if you have suffered in your own life, knowing this will bring both some hope and assurance for you. God bless you for reading and listening,
Kevin
So why have I not lost my faith? There are three main reasons:
1. Jesus - an innocent man who was nailed to a cross 2000 years ago in order to stand in our place for the wrongs we have done and the rights we have failed to do. He knew what it was to feel intense ongoing pain, to feel separate from and abandoned by God, to take the blame despite no wrongdoing. This helps me greatly as I know that I have a Saviour who understands what we are going through instead of a distant and remote God. We know too that Jesus rose from the dead and this gives hope that whether in this life or the next, I too will feel and know resurrection.
2. God the Father - a Dad on whom the world turns it back, but who never stops searching for us to come back to him and who never stops waiting for us with arms open wide. The pain of that searching and waiting is something with which I identify strongly - and like Him, should my son ever return to us, my arms will be open wide.
3. My church family - who have constantly supported us and prayed for us since Andrew went missing. They met for prayer the Wednesday after Andrew went missing and continue to meet now. Such loving, faithful, persevering support is beyond price.
I am describing this now as I have done an interview, exploring this a little more deeply.
It can be listened to here: http://www.thingsunseen.co.uk/life-of-the-spirit/missing/
I hope that you find something of hope in there. Life is not fair, the Bible makes this very clear throughout its pages, but we do have a God who is in all the pain and suffering with us, who understands our hurts and my hope is that if you have suffered in your own life, knowing this will bring both some hope and assurance for you. God bless you for reading and listening,
Kevin
