There are some phone numbers we all remember. Who doesn’t know to ring 999 in the UK for emergency services? But here’s one you may not know. A number that just could save the life of a loved one: 116 000 is the new (2012) European wide number for missing agencies. Here in the UK it will put you through, free of charge, to the charity Missing People, who can help and advise you what to do next if someone you love is missing. Write it down, better still, commit it to memory. Teach it to your children as soon as they are old enough to understand – Missing People also run a confidential message home service, something a confused child or teenager might just find vital.
Why am I writing this? I am writing in the hope that what happened to my family, and many others I now know, will not happen to you. In 2007, my son Andrew went missing. He was just 14. To this day we have no idea why he left. We thought we had a happy, stable family – Andrew is proof that this can happen to anyone. For five years now we have searched, postered, leafleted, emailed, interviewed endlessly for TV, Radio, newspapers and magazines. His face has been on bin lorries, milk cartons, service station toilet doors, you name it. We have even sonar scanned the Thames for bodies and we have found nothing. No message, no confirmed sighting, no body, no son. Knowing that number 116 000 could mean the difference between losing a child and finding them.
Some practical advice
When Andrew went missing, we were so glad that we had recent photos, that we knew how tall and heavy he was, what he was wearing, the details in short that may help someone identify the missing person. I would suggest making a habit, perhaps every 3 months or so, of taking a clear photograph of your child, measuring their height and weighing them. Do they have any unique identifying features? Take a clear photo. Any medical condition or medication? Do they wear glasses or hearing aids? Better still, keep this information on your mobile phone, something you are likely to have with you wherever you go. If the worst happens and you find yourself calling 116 000, then you will have important details to hand for the police, press and charities as they seek to assist you.
I hope it will never happen to you, I really do. I hope what you end up with is a record of your child’s growth that you can look back on with happy memories. But should the worst happen, then having that information to hand could be vital. Of course such simple measures may not always prove successful in finding a missing child, but the first 48 hours of searching are the most crucial, so it is worth having.
A word of caution
Bearing in mind how the Portuguese police labelled the McCanns suspects/arguidos and my own experience, I would add a little advice for when dealing with the police. Given the distress and emotions you will be feeling if your child goes missing, it can be even more distressing when you are interviewed by the police. The first 48 hours are crucial and the police ask many probing questions to ensure that they have the full facts, even possibly to the extent of questioning whether one is in anyway responsible for one's own child going missing. This, in itself, can feel quite intimidating at a time when one is vulnerable and inevitably questioning oneself as to why one's child is missing.
I feel it is advisable to recommend that you have legal representation at such interviews to ensure that your own rights are not compromised, which, in turn, might lead to the investigation moving in the wrong direction and impede the search for your child. If this happens, the distress is compounded and can seriously affect one's health and entire life thereafter.
The distress of your child being missing is almost indescribable and the longer they are missing with no information forthcoming the more devasting it becomes. I hope it never happens to you. But there are over 100,000 children reported missing just in the UK each year. The vast majority, 99%, have happy outcomes within a few days or weeks. And that is another reason to know that new number – 116 000 – it really helps.