I think Andrew was around 12 when he read somewhere that if you planted an oak tree in a tub, it would eventually stop growing because the roots were constrained by the size of the tub, so you would have a miniature oak tree. I picked up some acorns and he and I planted them in a tub. One didn’t make it, but the others grew and over the years I have placed each one in its own tub or in the ground. I just have one left in our back garden.
It remains perfectly healthy and is of course a reminder of Andrew. But it also makes me wonder: is he still alive somewhere or is he dead? The one thing that makes us all as a family think he may be dead is that none of us can imagine him being away so very long and never making contact to say he was alive and well.
Because, just like the oak tree in the tub, Andrew has strong roots here. We know of nothing that would uproot him to this extent, there was no storm to blow him over that any of us knew of. And so we wonder. We would like to think that whatever happened, he is alive and has simply rooted himself in another spot, but still we cannot really imagine that anything would so firmly tear him up from our family.
As I write this, I reflect that it will be his 26th birthday on the 10th July and so we will not have seen him for almost 12 years. That thought is unimaginable to us all, yet is the reality we live with. A year ago the artist Tim Widdens created age progressed images of how he may look now, another thing we find hard to imagine. I know my wife and daughter both fear the idea that we could pass Andrew in the street and no longer even recognise him. I do too.
Because, just like the oak tree in the tub, Andrew has strong roots here. We know of nothing that would uproot him to this extent, there was no storm to blow him over that any of us knew of. And so we wonder. We would like to think that whatever happened, he is alive and has simply rooted himself in another spot, but still we cannot really imagine that anything would so firmly tear him up from our family.
As I write this, I reflect that it will be his 26th birthday on the 10th July and so we will not have seen him for almost 12 years. That thought is unimaginable to us all, yet is the reality we live with. A year ago the artist Tim Widdens created age progressed images of how he may look now, another thing we find hard to imagine. I know my wife and daughter both fear the idea that we could pass Andrew in the street and no longer even recognise him. I do too.
We shall do the same as we do on every birthday that has passed. I shall place flowers in church and invite the members to take one home as reminder to pray not just for Andrew but also for the many thousands of kids who go missing each year. And I shall light a candle as a sign of hope that he may be alive somewhere and that one day we might know this; or even just know what did happen to him.
I hope he is safe and well somewhere. I hope he has roots and is growing as a person, just like the acorns he planted so long ago. Andrew is a huge loss, not just to our family, but his huge intellect I think means that he is a loss to society. I do not know what his path would have been through life were he still here, but I am in no doubt that he would have made a positive difference in whatever field he ended up pursuing.
Another year passing makes us all sad over again. But one hope we have is that from his disappearance awareness has been raised and that other families will not have to endure what we struggle with each year and every day in between. Perhaps readers of this blog might consider helping others in Andrew’s name by responding to the appeal upon which his face appears. Thank you if you are able to do so.
I hope he is safe and well somewhere. I hope he has roots and is growing as a person, just like the acorns he planted so long ago. Andrew is a huge loss, not just to our family, but his huge intellect I think means that he is a loss to society. I do not know what his path would have been through life were he still here, but I am in no doubt that he would have made a positive difference in whatever field he ended up pursuing.
Another year passing makes us all sad over again. But one hope we have is that from his disappearance awareness has been raised and that other families will not have to endure what we struggle with each year and every day in between. Perhaps readers of this blog might consider helping others in Andrew’s name by responding to the appeal upon which his face appears. Thank you if you are able to do so.
