Help Us To Find Andrew

(Almost) Lost for words…

14/9/2026

I very often write a short blog for Andrew’s birthday in July. This year, I found myself literally having no idea what to write. Not one thought. Zero. I admit I am having a very busy year, now refurbishing the ground floor of our modest but ageing house and put my lack of inspiration down to my head being full of matters such as electricians and mending floors.

A little later, as I reflected on it, I realised that I would end up writing a blog about not writing a blog. Some of it comes down to the ongoing battles with depression and anxiety, some of it simply because nothing has changed and never seems to. We still miss Andrew all the time and have no resolution of any kind.

It occurred to me that perhaps 4 or 5 times this year I have been approached by media companies about the possibility of making a new documentary style film and have felt unable to say yes because telling the story again is so painful and that after so long (19 years) I have discovered that none of it has turned up anything concrete about what happened to our son.

I then realised that the exception to this has been the times I was asked by Missing People to help out with media and publicity. The short video on their website Home - Missing People was the result of this and I also visited media city in Manchester to speak on breakfast TV about it.

I think I feel differently about this because it helps others more widely by making them aware of the amazing work Missing People do and also to know where to obtain help should they need it. I am not by nature a demonstrative chap. But speaking to one of the ladies beside me in that film caused me to ask permission to give her a hug. This was because the pain I saw in her eyes had a depth and intensity to it that lies beyond description and which I have seen too many times. I expect it is in my eyes too, certainly at times.

Many of us have little idea how we would manage without the support of the wonderful folk at Missing People and actually all I can really think of to say is to please know that they are there. Please put their number in your kids’ phones and talk it through with them. 116 000

The greatest hope in our situation for so long is that others are spared this pain and should they have to endure it, they know where to turn for help and support.

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Starfish

14/9/2025

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Photo by Pedro Lastra on Unsplash

Those who follow Andrew’s groups and pages on social media will know that we regularly share appeals for children and young people who are missing in the UK and for whom there is particular concern for their safety and wellbeing.

I share these appeals seeing so many faces that, for me, mean hope and potential for the future, for them and their families and communities. If only they can be found and helped to resolve whatever issues are facing them and caused them to go missing.

I find myself thinking of the panic and worry of their parents, brothers, sisters, extended family and friends because we have been through that and continue to face it daily. If someone is missing, it means they are being missed by those who love them and care about them.

At other times, there is a list of those who have been found, which always lifts me as it means so much relief for so many people and a solid chance for the young person concerned. I may only click on the “like” button, but behind that are so many people who have been affected and I am so glad that they can move ahead from a difficult time.

There is a story about a man who finds a young boy on a beach the morning after a storm has washed up thousands of starfish on the shore. The boy is picking them up and placing them back in the water and the man asks him why because there are far too many to save. The boy agrees, but continues to return the starfish to the sea saying “But I helped that one… and that one… and that one.”
The principle is right. None of us can solve all the problems in the world, but all of us can help someone and, by default, those who love them.

So, on the 18th anniversary since our Andrew went missing, I want to ask for your help. Something as simple as sharing appeals from sources you trust does help, maybe more people than you will ever know. If you are in a position to donate to Missing People, you could be helping someone out of a tough situation, or through one by helping to man the helpline. It often comes down to helping one starfish to live to make a huge impact.

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The Power of Memory

10/7/2025

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I wake up with a sense of panic almost every day. Sometimes I am able to rationalise things and calm myself, but the sensation often persists until I go to bed again. It is a common symptom of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Along with the flashbacks and nightmares. After nearly 18 years since Andrew went missing, it demonstrates how deeply rooted in the subconscious a traumatic time can be. These moments can affect your entire life and this is particularly the case when you cannot reach a conclusion about the fate of your missing loved one.
I wrote a year ago about our house refurbishment and how difficult it has felt to change Andrew’s old room in particular. I am still working on the house, but a great deal has been completed now and we have endeavoured to do things in a way that reminds us of Andrew. His room now looks something like this:

When we were looking at paint colours, we ended up saying it had to be blue, the colour Andrew chose when he was young: anything else just felt wrong to us. On the chimney breast we hung these pictures:

The one in the centre was a work by an artist who contributed his work to Missing People’s “Unmissable” exhibition in 2019 and was framed by my father. On the left is a portrait of Andrew taken from a photo. I was contacted by an artist on Facebook, Ben Bastiani, who offered to do this for us free of charge. We liked his work so much, we later commissioned him to do the portrait of Andrew’s sister, Charlotte, which hangs on the right. They were best friends as well as siblings.

These are the positive memories, the ones that remind us of Andrew, how much we love him. I was recently asked for a podcast if I have any difficult memories of Andrew and the straight up answer is no; we always enjoyed his company and conversation and my wife and I were always aware of how easy our children were at every age. It reminded me of a colleague one lunch time who commented that I was the only member of the team who never grumbled about his children. I never had to.

The kindness of people like Ben Bastiani is always such an encouragement to us; that people still think about Andrew and care about what may have become of him. There are many examples.

The picture below is from our cellar rooms (where Andrew was often found playing on his X-Box). I re-used old wardrobes to build open shelving and used a section of it to display some of his collection of rocks and minerals. I think he would like it, especially the UV lights under which some of the rocks fluoresce. He would know that the shelves in the centre at the back were ones he and I made together. He was around 10 I think and not at all bad with a chisel to cut slots for the small glass shelves and dovetail joints on the corners.

It is an irony, I think, that we have nothing but good memories of Andrew, but still wake each day feeling the panic of his disappearance.

He will be 32 on 10th July. Perhaps you would feel able to remember Andrew by sharing a current appeal for a missing young person, or by making a donation, however small, to Missing People, the charity that is always there for us and so many other families. Thank you.

Share a current appeal, or donate here :

Missing People

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Stripped Back

14/9/2024

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It is 17 years since Andrew went missing. For various reasons, my wife Glenys and I are refurbishing half of our Victorian mid-terrace house. A well-meaning friend said to us recently that it must be good to feel that we can “move on” by including Andrew’s old room in this process. This is how his room looks at the moment:

We have removed picture rails, rewired, replaced damaged floorboards, even removed the lead piping for gas lighting that was under the floor. The old furniture is gone, new cupboards installed, the walls plaster skimmed and coving added. The paint Andrew chose as a boy (blue) has been stripped off, the room has been stripped right back and is being slowly restored.

As for “moving on”, we find ourselves intending to choose a new shade of blue for the walls and soft furnishings and to include some pictures ( see my blog archives ) and belongings of Andrew’s in the final stages. A missing loved one is not something that can be moved on from: we simply find ourselves another year on, with no clue where or why he went off that day, let alone where he could be now, even if he is alive.

It feels as though your life has been stripped back. Everything you expected to happen never did, or if it did, not in the way you expected. And now another year farther away from a possible clue. This hurts, in the most unimaginably painful way, all the time, every single day and in some ways that hurt becomes worse as more time passes. It feels we are trapped in an unending nightmare rather than moving on, let alone being restored and improved.

This doubtless sounds bleak to any reader and is why, as usual, I wish to encourage any reader to support the charity Missing People, who support many families like ours in many ways. One of the most important ways to help is to share their appeals for missing loved ones via social media. It costs nothing, yet may save a family or individual from a huge amount of pain. Similarly, make family and friends aware of the helpline 116000 so that they could seek support with any aspect related to missing, even if it is to talk through the feelings related to thinking of going missing.

This feeling of our lives being stripped down year in and year out can seem unbearable and never-ending, but there is an amazing source of support available and I can promise you that it is free, confidential and that you should have no doubts as to the value of making that call, or contacting them online or via text. For us, the pain may never end, but it does help to have someone at your back supporting you.

You can access the Missing People website by clicking the graphic below

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Our Family

10/7/2024

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A day or two ago, someone I have never met, sent me a digital art image of our family, taken from a photo of us at a wedding many years ago. They simply sent their best wishes as we approach Andrew’s 31st birthday.

It made me think of how our family has changed since Andrew went missing all those years ago in 2007. It made me recall a time that my wife, Glenys, and I were looking at booking a family holiday with a travel agent; the travel agent was keen to mention hotels that included a kids club. After a bit, Glenys said not to worry about that because “it’s OK, we like our children”. That is why Andrew’s disappearance created such a huge hole in our family. We ate together, talked together, played and rested together like any family, so his not being here with us now is an absence that we continue to feel every day.

I then thought of some new “family” and friends we have made over these past years only because Andrew went missing. These people will know who they are: L.H, M.S, M.S & H.P, L.M. and R.J, just to refer to a few. Many of them have helped us through the years with help searching, support and friendship of many kinds and it is enriching to know them all.

But the biggest “new” family is Missing People. The charity that never forgets Andrew’s birthday or the day he went missing, who know Christmas can be hard without him and who give so much support through phone calls and emails. They are always there for us on the end of a phone. When we meet, for example at a Christmas Together to Remember event, it is like meeting with family; there are hugs and smiles because we haven’t seen one another in a while and so much care and support for one another. They are the best family in our difficult and seemingly never-ending situation.

So, if you are able to support them in any way: perhaps via a donation or simply sharing their appeals on social media, please know that you are helping more than you perhaps realise. They support so many families in so many ways; you may never know it, but you would be helping a family to remain a family. To me, that is worth more than anything because you give the gift of a hopeful future to so many people.

Support Missing People - Missing People

If you wish to donate click graphic below

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Missing People/Trainline app helping find missing people.

19/5/2024

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Some of you may recall that I spoke in a video released by Missing People in November 2023 in support of their initiative with Trainline to helping missing people. This pioneering initiative had the potential to reach millions of members of the public via the Trainline app and worked by displaying images of people who have gone missing in the vicinity, as well as information on the steps to take if you suspect you have seen a missing person or have information on their whereabouts. Andrew’s case featured as part of the video (video shown below)

I have just received information from Missing People on the success of the campaign, together with their thanks for participating. During the campaign period (November 2023 and March 2024) it received four PR/Marketing awards. The campaign produced outstanding results, with 77 appeals displayed and 11 individuals reported found safe and well. These appeals reached a wide audience, totalling an impressive 84,023,224 impressions.

The Trainline app still displays urgent missing cases by geographical area. So far as I know Trainline aims to continue the scheme long-term.

Needless to say, I am delighted that Trainline will continue to help in this way.

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Every 90 Seconds: The Silent Epidemic of the Missing

8/5/2024

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I recently assisted a journalism student with her final year major project which examines some of the many facets of 'missing people' as a topic. Entitled ‘Every 90 Seconds: The Silent Epidemic of the Missing’ it is excellent and within its three component articles covers a wide perspective of those affected by the issue of missing loved ones and is well worth reading.

Article 1

Family (severed) ties: When estrangement shatters lives, who picks up the pieces?

Article 2

Revolving doors and pavement floors: The life of a teen runaway

Article 3

Missing: Dead or alive? Navigating ambiguous loss

Andrew features in Article 3

(click graphic below for access to articles)

or follow this link below:

Every 90 Seconds: The Silent Epidemic of The Missing

IF YOU HAVE ANY FEEDBACK FOR THESE ARTICLES
PLEASE EMAIL
[email protected]

HELP URGENTLY NEEDED

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Acorns & Mighty Oaks

21/12/2023

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In my blog for Andrew’s 30th birthday this year, I wrote about the acorns he planted becoming mature trees and bearing their first acorns:

>>>> Andrew’s Oak Tree Blog

I had not realised at the time, that the charity Missing People had started in a spare bedroom and is also 30 this year. I was asked to speak at the Christmas Service as a result. I reflected upon the huge personal debt we as a family owe them, and for the vast amount of support they have given us over the past 16 years. Also on the fact that this year’s preventative campaign, marks yet another stride forwards in the help they offer to so many people and their families. This is also very important to us.

To mark the 30th anniversary, I carved oak leaves into a small piece of a huge oak tree that fell a year ago in the Woodland project I attend and volunteer at. I felt very privileged to be able to present it to Jo Youle, the charity CEO and to personally thank the charity trustees, patrons, staff and volunteers. The acorn planted in a spare bedroom 30 years ago has become to many, many people a mighty oak tree.

What I said can be viewed here (starting at 12mins):

If you would like to help support this amazing charity, you can do so by donating on their website. There are also many opportunities to help in other ways, by sharing appeals on social media for example. Thank you for anything you can do to help.

As a family, we wish you a Happy Christmas and New Year.

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Thinking of Andrew Especially Today

14/9/2023

5 Comments

On the 16th anniversary of Andrew's disappearance, we think of all those with missing loved ones and remind you of Kevin's most recent blog. Thank you for continuing to share appeals for missing children & young people.

http://helpustofindandrew.weebly.com/blog/andrews-oak-tree

Andrew, missing but not forgotten

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Andrew’s Oak Tree

10/7/2023

10 Comments

This year marks Andrew’s 30th birthday and 16 years since he went missing in 2007. I think he was 10 when he read somewhere that an oak tree kept in a tub would become a fully mature tree, but in miniature because the roots were constrained from growing fully. At the time, I picked up a few acorns and we planted these in a tub to test this theory. Half a dozen grew and I gradually replanted them over the years, keeping one for our own back garden. Last year, it produced its first acorns, showing that, while still only about 6 feet/2 metres tall, it has matured as Andrew predicted.

Almost every day since he disappeared, I have struggled with crippling anxiety and depression, to the extent that it is barely possible to function. No matter how many years pass by without him, those feelings never change and are often intensified by seemingly small things that would not have been a problem before he vanished. After all the searching, appealing, praying and hoping, we all still miss him intensely every single day; it never seems to become easier.

In the Missing People offices, there is a “tree”, pictured here: one of the leaves is inscribed with his name and our message to him. There are too many inscribed leaves on this tree, too many loved ones missed each and every day. There are too many families left bewildered, wondering, searching, hoping and praying; longing for an answer, any answer, no matter how difficult that answer could be.

Missing People have tirelessly supported us through these years, as they do with so many families. In addition, every month sees appeals that help find missing children and adults and the helpline (116000) is available to those thinking of going missing or that have gone missing and find themselves in difficulty. As Andrew’s oak tree bears the fruit of the acorn, we hope that awareness of his case bears the fruit that others are helped to find positive solutions in their lives and that other families are spared the pain that too many of us live with every day.

If you feel able to help with a donation, no matter how small, know that you will be part of a lifeline to many families by giving here:

Missing People

Thank you.

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(Almost) Lost for words…

Starfish

The Power of Memory

Stripped Back

Our Family

Missing People/Trainline app helping find missing people.

Every 90 Seconds: The Silent Epidemic of the Missing

Acorns & Mighty Oaks

Thinking of Andrew Especially Today

Andrew’s Oak Tree

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